This was my last session at 24ft, moving to 33ft on Monday. It was just 3 of us today, definitely the quietest level and expect 33 to be a lot busier. There was a lady there who I had met on Monday who had serious problems walking, but my focus turned more to the gentleman in the wheelchair. He had real problems with his hands and speech as well as his legs. I adjusted his mask for him and helped him take it off along with headphones someone had helped him on with at the start. My main reason for not trying something like this earlier was not wanting to see what I consider a glimpse at what the future “may” hold for me. I was sitting in the tank for over an hour with all sorts of thoughts entering my head about what life would be like me if I end up on a similar path. Could feel my eyes welling up as my thoughts were consumed by all these negative things. I’m sitting here now typing ihinking what a selfish SOB I am but I cannot help it. Tried over many years to change my thinking but I cannot seem to shake these thoughts. I do hope the man is not in too much pain and is able to enjoy a degree of quality of life as my time spent with him today was only a small glimpse at how this illness affects him.
Not feeling that boost today I felt yesterday but think there many factors that might be blocking that for me today. My worry now is that as 33ft is the highest level, it may have many users whose MS is much further progressed than those I have met so far but I’m trying my best not to make assumptions about what Monday will be like. Not making assumptions is something I’m not very good at unfortunately.
I’m still very focused on making it through the week next week and finishing the journey I started a fortnight ago. Hoping that nothing will shake me from this mission. Onwards and upwards.