Thought I’d have some fun cos I am bored, please do not take this seriously!
Strong message from the DWP.
Nominee for the conservative leadership, Stephen Crabb, has today revealed detailed plans to reform the DWP. The first question on any forms sent out to claimants will now be “Are you alive?” Any answer given will automatically make your claim invalid!
“I feel”, says Crabb, “as I attempt to get a new job even though I’ve made a mess of my current one, that my detailed 1 point plan to get more people into work will revolutionise the country.”
“I’m sick of hearing the excuses people give to legitimise why they are not working! It’s always, Ohhhh my limbs fell off and Ohhhh my heads upside down! At the end of the day even a chicken carries on walking about with its head cut off! My advice to people is look to the chicken for inspiration! I know you can work so what you know differently is irrelevant!”
The DWP are currently cancelling benefits and are collecting up to 400 mobility cars a week.
Crabb went on to say, “Man invented the Wheel thousands of years ago! Are you honestly trying to tell me that claimants can’t build their own wheelbarrows to nip down to the shops?! Lazy.”
Asked if disability charities of every illness that affects sufferers mobility have attempted to reason with Crabb he replied, “I can’t speak French, Spanish or Disabled”.